Seven skills to learn how to surf on the waves of life
Abandon the pursuit of balance
Accept that life consists of cycles and that balance is a temporary thing. Cherish it when it is there, but do not get too hung up on it. Letting go of the idea that you have to be in balance can be very liberating. Pursuing something unattainable can cost a great deal of energy – energy that is better used to prepare for when busier, more imbalanced times arrive.
Dare to be vulnerable and learn to ask for and receive help
When you get too busy, when you feel that life is passing you by and you notice that your smile is fading away, ask for help. Admitting that you cannot do it alone makes you human, and that is lovely. Furthermore, it makes the person that helps you feel good that he or she could do something for you. The ‘giver’ will feel useful and strong, steady as a rock, and that alone is a beautiful gift.
Breathe
This is probably the most important advice of all. Control your breathing. Breathe consciously. Try to take a one-minute breather several times per day where you do nothing but sit and be aware of your breathing. Breathing is the quickest way to get in touch with the here-and-now. And there is always balance in the now.
Learn to say ‘no’ and set limits
You really do not need to please everyone. Nor do you have to go to every party and respond to every question or accept every offer. Learn that it is not so bad to miss out on something. Learn that saying ‘no’ is a fundamental right. You don’t even have to justify it. Life revolves around choices and choosing is losing. Make constructive choices that benefit your health and peace of mind – particularly when you feel out of synch and are running low on energy. Spending the evening enjoying your family and falling asleep in front of the television in the arms of one you love can do wonders.
Take care of yourself and enjoy the little things
Being out of balance, stressed, being too busy – even when you enjoy it and do not complain – is one thing. But it is no reason not to take care of yourself. Enjoy little moments at work, on the way to work, etc. Look around and intentionally search for things that make you smile, like a rainbow or funny cats. Take time to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee, a casual conversation or the smile of an unknown passerby. Find the ‘vacation’ in your daily grind. Or take a nice long bath. Allow yourself the luxury of lying in warm water for 30 minutes and briefly hit the ‘pause’ button.
Have a clear and realistic goal and be happy with baby steps
Sometimes life seems like the Dancing Procession of Echternach. Two steps forward and one step back. The sum still ensures that we are always taking a step forward in the right direction. Stay positive and celebrate small successes. Slow also works, and the awards are handed out at the finish line. You still win, just perhaps less than you would like.
Reward yourself
When you have survived yet another tsunami, reward yourself. When you managed to keep your cool during a busy period when you nearly drowned or got washed away, you deserve a reward. Reflect and be proud of what you have achieved. Enjoy the brief rest and balance before you rekindle the urge to get busy again.
Source: San Vangenechten – Stress & Burn-out Coach – Business Trainer Triangis
